Vegetarian Dee

Saturday, October 20, 2007

knowing there is only now

"Living is a form of not being sure, not knowing what next or how. The moment you know how, you begin to die a little. The artist never entirely knows. We guess. We may be wrong, but we take leap after leap in the dark."
-Agnes De Mille

A comfort to read such words on my email I guess.

With all the chaos around me, the impending uncertainty, deep sadness slash excitement that singledom may be mine again, the trusting the process and knowing that all i have is really today.

i don't know. i am sad. i am hurt. but when I look into Benny's eyes, with him smiling at me for no reason at all, I know that things will be ok, no matter what. Really.

Enough settling, or running after people to be loved. I deserve so much more than that.

I pray for strength..and courage..with the souls of every one who has walked this path before and found themselves better in the end.

Now, I am not walking it alone. I've got Benlove to hold my hand.

I do not want to hate anymore. I pray for the day I am less mad at the cards that I am dealt. But as much as I want to blame, I know that I also chose the choices I made that led me here.

All will be well..good things.


dharmadreams said...

you are too cute! you have a label 'single mom'!!!!

tom is a good day dee... we shoot our incredible little ones! :D

lotsa luv....

jencc said...

monix is right...and, we'll be here for support. let me know if you wanna talk. hugs!