Job Description:
This is hysterical. If it had been presented this way,
I don't believe any of us would have done it!!!!
POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Pa, Pop
JOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed, for challenging,
permanent work in an
often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.
RESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a
pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysteriously sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings
for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work throughout the facility.
POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years, without complaining, constantly retraining and updating your skills,
so that those in your charge can ultimately surpass you
PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
A balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
BENEFITS:
While no health or dental insurance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered;
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth, unconditional love,
and free hugs and kisses for life if you play your cards right.
Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.
** FOOTNOTE **
THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!!
open the lunchbox and see what's inside.
Showing posts with label transition. Show all posts
Showing posts with label transition. Show all posts
Friday, September 20, 2024
Tuesday, August 16, 2011
On Being a Parent
Job Description:
This is hysterical. If it had been presented this way,
I don't believe any of us would have done it!!!!
POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Pa, Pop
JOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed, for challenging,
permanent work in an
often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.
RESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a
pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysteriously sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings
for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work throughout the facility.
POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years, without complaining, constantly retraining and updating your skills,
so that those in your charge can ultimately surpass you
PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
A balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
BENEFITS:
While no health or dental insurance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered;
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth, unconditional love,
and free hugs and kisses for life if you play your cards right.
Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.
** FOOTNOTE **
THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!!
This is hysterical. If it had been presented this way,
I don't believe any of us would have done it!!!!
POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Pa, Pop
JOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed, for challenging,
permanent work in an
often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.
RESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a
pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysteriously sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings
for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work throughout the facility.
POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years, without complaining, constantly retraining and updating your skills,
so that those in your charge can ultimately surpass you
PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
A balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
BENEFITS:
While no health or dental insurance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered;
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth, unconditional love,
and free hugs and kisses for life if you play your cards right.
Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.
** FOOTNOTE **
THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!!
Wednesday, May 14, 2008
hello again darling lunchbox
hi!!!
some updates..
1. i now live in San Juan with my fabfabfab partner and dear friend, with our big babies and business. been here for a week and although it is taking some time to adjust, i love my space, and the feeling of being on my own.
some things in my life need to be fixed..so here it is, time and space to think and be free. fly free.
took a single jeep to DV yesterday and are now official bazaaristas! (yeeeeah!) how cool is that! excited to go back there again.
2. moved on from a helper that did not make me happy to..no helper again. but it's cool. ben and i are managing and waiting for an angel! couldn't stand some things about her, and although she was game to do gigs, late night taping and whatnot, i couldn't settle. besides, now, mum's got more time to ben plus good babysitting friends! killing 2 birds w stones;)
3. baby angelo! although i am a major extra, it is my claim to fame to be a part of Arkeofilm's newest production..to be released in July and is a nominee for Cannes!! is there any chance i can go??? as a candidate for the Best Extra award maybe??!!?!? teeheehee!! oh, and ben was in the film too..and earned P500 to do it! how cool is that mah little boy, making his keep at a young age! sooooooooo excited for the movie in july!! must watch!
4. baby Led weaning ROCKS!!!!!!!!!!
Because of this great invention, Benny is a fab eater!! Sometimes, i'd think, was this invented for lazy mums like me, who have some modern excuse to let their kids run free, eat big dangerous chunks of food, and pee in their undies??? BUT NO!! because of BL, ben now ASKS for food! not like many other kids who are chased by yayas, spoons hovering in the skies, TV's to distract them, Benny, walks around (if he get sick of the chair) and comes to me to get a mouthful of whatever. I LOVE IT! He actually knows what he wants, tries new things and eats!!! Like a real big person! So nappy changing is now more exciting, with all the scents and colors present, but what the heck..my boy eats and i am happy about that!!
5. making extra dough..looking for ways and means to make extra $$$ and so far, God has been good. a gig here and there, possible ads and whatnot, plus learning to save, live lighter and happier..works for me! i do wonder though about the future..and worry about the day when i will need to go back to work (F$%&K no:()..but then again, maybe that day will never come..and maybe i will be a professional racket-eer who owns a large and booming business called INDIGObaby!! it could happen. so while ben grows, we work and make ends meet..school, we'll deal with you when the time comes.
aw man missed this.
some updates..
1. i now live in San Juan with my fabfabfab partner and dear friend, with our big babies and business. been here for a week and although it is taking some time to adjust, i love my space, and the feeling of being on my own.
some things in my life need to be fixed..so here it is, time and space to think and be free. fly free.
took a single jeep to DV yesterday and are now official bazaaristas! (yeeeeah!) how cool is that! excited to go back there again.
2. moved on from a helper that did not make me happy to..no helper again. but it's cool. ben and i are managing and waiting for an angel! couldn't stand some things about her, and although she was game to do gigs, late night taping and whatnot, i couldn't settle. besides, now, mum's got more time to ben plus good babysitting friends! killing 2 birds w stones;)
3. baby angelo! although i am a major extra, it is my claim to fame to be a part of Arkeofilm's newest production..to be released in July and is a nominee for Cannes!! is there any chance i can go??? as a candidate for the Best Extra award maybe??!!?!? teeheehee!! oh, and ben was in the film too..and earned P500 to do it! how cool is that mah little boy, making his keep at a young age! sooooooooo excited for the movie in july!! must watch!
4. baby Led weaning ROCKS!!!!!!!!!!
Because of this great invention, Benny is a fab eater!! Sometimes, i'd think, was this invented for lazy mums like me, who have some modern excuse to let their kids run free, eat big dangerous chunks of food, and pee in their undies??? BUT NO!! because of BL, ben now ASKS for food! not like many other kids who are chased by yayas, spoons hovering in the skies, TV's to distract them, Benny, walks around (if he get sick of the chair) and comes to me to get a mouthful of whatever. I LOVE IT! He actually knows what he wants, tries new things and eats!!! Like a real big person! So nappy changing is now more exciting, with all the scents and colors present, but what the heck..my boy eats and i am happy about that!!
5. making extra dough..looking for ways and means to make extra $$$ and so far, God has been good. a gig here and there, possible ads and whatnot, plus learning to save, live lighter and happier..works for me! i do wonder though about the future..and worry about the day when i will need to go back to work (F$%&K no:()..but then again, maybe that day will never come..and maybe i will be a professional racket-eer who owns a large and booming business called INDIGObaby!! it could happen. so while ben grows, we work and make ends meet..school, we'll deal with you when the time comes.
aw man missed this.
Wednesday, February 20, 2008
blog, i miss you
i miss you blog!
been sooooooooooo busy with lots of little things..i am not a kayodmum!! hahaha! for my sake and ben's.
oh well..better busy than idle right! and it's a good thing coz that means i am getting somewhere!
soon soon soon
been sooooooooooo busy with lots of little things..i am not a kayodmum!! hahaha! for my sake and ben's.
oh well..better busy than idle right! and it's a good thing coz that means i am getting somewhere!
soon soon soon
Thursday, January 24, 2008
goodbye office
i never really enjoyed being in the office anyway. so when asked to return full time, after being home with benny for 9 months, i thought, weight the pros and cons, then decided to decline their offer. even if it meant saying goodbye to my salary.
course it felt good to be around people, have a reason to put make up and get dressed every day. but then again, i can still do that and celebrate days at home with benny.
i dunno. i just feel a bit off today. i'd like to blame the moon for being full the other night, and sucking me dry again. but is it the moon? is it pms?
i've noticed though that when i am idle, i get sad. not complaining..i am not even idle. i just have too many silly things on my mind and they are stressing me out.
fix my damn phone czo it stopped taking photos. (just do it right, go to the mall and do it..sans the car!)
fix my pump and get that transformer thing. (again, just go and do it..stress lang coz it just decided to stop working last night, one almost-engorged moment)
clean the unit and all its anay and boxes (not your problem, let it go)
make more money (one day at a time..slowly dee)
plan a garage sale and get rid of stuff..(soon soon..so i have extra cash and good energy coming in)
bake goodies for ben so he eats more than oatmeal and rice lang (make time for this and get goodie recipes and just do it!)
ok i need to just do all these things and quit complaining!
just do it!!
course it felt good to be around people, have a reason to put make up and get dressed every day. but then again, i can still do that and celebrate days at home with benny.
i dunno. i just feel a bit off today. i'd like to blame the moon for being full the other night, and sucking me dry again. but is it the moon? is it pms?
i've noticed though that when i am idle, i get sad. not complaining..i am not even idle. i just have too many silly things on my mind and they are stressing me out.
fix my damn phone czo it stopped taking photos. (just do it right, go to the mall and do it..sans the car!)
fix my pump and get that transformer thing. (again, just go and do it..stress lang coz it just decided to stop working last night, one almost-engorged moment)
clean the unit and all its anay and boxes (not your problem, let it go)
make more money (one day at a time..slowly dee)
plan a garage sale and get rid of stuff..(soon soon..so i have extra cash and good energy coming in)
bake goodies for ben so he eats more than oatmeal and rice lang (make time for this and get goodie recipes and just do it!)
ok i need to just do all these things and quit complaining!
just do it!!
Thursday, January 17, 2008
the teeth have arrived
benny has teeth!
first sign, three kings January 7, 2008. A little sharp thingee from the bottom jaw.
Then two days later, a BIG one on his upper jaw. Then suddenly...
this....
my little easter benny is really a bunny wabbit!
i catch my heart thumping a bit stronger now when he feeds, scared that he might feel the need to use his little fangs on me! so far, just a couple of ouchie moments that are remedied by gentle reprimanding and explaining, "Ben...that hurts me. Please don't do that again."
He's a smart one and knows not to bite the boob that feeds. ;)
first sign, three kings January 7, 2008. A little sharp thingee from the bottom jaw.
Then two days later, a BIG one on his upper jaw. Then suddenly...
this....
my little easter benny is really a bunny wabbit!
i catch my heart thumping a bit stronger now when he feeds, scared that he might feel the need to use his little fangs on me! so far, just a couple of ouchie moments that are remedied by gentle reprimanding and explaining, "Ben...that hurts me. Please don't do that again."
He's a smart one and knows not to bite the boob that feeds. ;)
Friday, October 26, 2007
in the danger zone
Benny, at almost 7 months, moves.
And he moves a lot.
Started with slithers backwards, turning over and getting stuck, rolling, humping, pouncing (with growling), climbing, pulling.
Needless to say, to leave him on the bed, or anywhere alone would be dangerous.
The other day, as he dozed off to dreamland (or so I thought), I got up and answered a phone call in the other room. I didn't dare disturb him coz naptime equals Dee time, for shower, food, and net (busy busy is good good!).
In less than two minutes, I entered back into the room to find Ben awake, on the corner of our queen-sized bed, on his knees and with his hands on the arm of the rocking chair by the bed...giddy and bouncing with a big grin on his face as if he were saying, "Mum!! There you are!!"
I ran (four steps from the door to the bed) and grabbed him in panic that another second away could mean another fall..more painful than the previous one!
Safe and in the bed, we played and fed until he napped again after. Phew! Fearless Benicio.
In other news....
it has been 12..yes twelve days since Benny has seen daddy-o.:( Because I am mad, holding back and not communicating. But B has also not tried to see us, or at least Ben. No call, no text, no asking if he could come visit (Sometimes I wish he were somewhere around spying on us at least.).
Can't comprehend how he could stay away this long. *sigh*
oh well..if he did come, i don't know how i'd act or what i'd say anyway. Just pondering.
And he moves a lot.
Started with slithers backwards, turning over and getting stuck, rolling, humping, pouncing (with growling), climbing, pulling.
Needless to say, to leave him on the bed, or anywhere alone would be dangerous.
The other day, as he dozed off to dreamland (or so I thought), I got up and answered a phone call in the other room. I didn't dare disturb him coz naptime equals Dee time, for shower, food, and net (busy busy is good good!).
In less than two minutes, I entered back into the room to find Ben awake, on the corner of our queen-sized bed, on his knees and with his hands on the arm of the rocking chair by the bed...giddy and bouncing with a big grin on his face as if he were saying, "Mum!! There you are!!"
I ran (four steps from the door to the bed) and grabbed him in panic that another second away could mean another fall..more painful than the previous one!
Safe and in the bed, we played and fed until he napped again after. Phew! Fearless Benicio.
In other news....
it has been 12..yes twelve days since Benny has seen daddy-o.:( Because I am mad, holding back and not communicating. But B has also not tried to see us, or at least Ben. No call, no text, no asking if he could come visit (Sometimes I wish he were somewhere around spying on us at least.).
Can't comprehend how he could stay away this long. *sigh*
oh well..if he did come, i don't know how i'd act or what i'd say anyway. Just pondering.
Saturday, October 20, 2007
knowing there is only now
"Living is a form of not being sure, not knowing what next or how. The moment you know how, you begin to die a little. The artist never entirely knows. We guess. We may be wrong, but we take leap after leap in the dark."
-Agnes De Mille
A comfort to read such words on my email I guess.
With all the chaos around me, the impending uncertainty, deep sadness slash excitement that singledom may be mine again, the trusting the process and knowing that all i have is really today.
i don't know. i am sad. i am hurt. but when I look into Benny's eyes, with him smiling at me for no reason at all, I know that things will be ok, no matter what. Really.
Enough settling, or running after people to be loved. I deserve so much more than that.
I pray for strength..and courage..with the souls of every one who has walked this path before and found themselves better in the end.
Now, I am not walking it alone. I've got Benlove to hold my hand.
I do not want to hate anymore. I pray for the day I am less mad at the cards that I am dealt. But as much as I want to blame, I know that I also chose the choices I made that led me here.
All will be well..good things.
-Agnes De Mille
A comfort to read such words on my email I guess.
With all the chaos around me, the impending uncertainty, deep sadness slash excitement that singledom may be mine again, the trusting the process and knowing that all i have is really today.
i don't know. i am sad. i am hurt. but when I look into Benny's eyes, with him smiling at me for no reason at all, I know that things will be ok, no matter what. Really.
Enough settling, or running after people to be loved. I deserve so much more than that.
I pray for strength..and courage..with the souls of every one who has walked this path before and found themselves better in the end.
Now, I am not walking it alone. I've got Benlove to hold my hand.
I do not want to hate anymore. I pray for the day I am less mad at the cards that I am dealt. But as much as I want to blame, I know that I also chose the choices I made that led me here.
All will be well..good things.
Saturday, September 1, 2007
i hate
no one is going to read this so i might as well tell my blog how i feel.
i am worried about all the hate i am currently feeling for my grandfather. he stormed into my room the other night and un-invited me to dinner so benny could stay home. he said
"no, you are not invited, my friend. Stay home with your son!" (i still need to learn how to make words bold here!)
i hate how he calls me 'his friend" coz we will never be anything close to that. and how he calls benny my son, and not by his name..as if to make things more authoritative.
ok ok. i know he has benny's wellbeing in his mind, but i hate how him and my grandma think that they know what's best for him. i guess all adults (does that disclude me?) think they know what to do, since they have had their own share of children and life in general. but the way they hover, with such authority is purely annoying. it makes me feel stupid as a mum, like i am selfish and make selfish decisions and do not care about benny's health, joy, and overall being! really stupid, they always think i purposely expose him to germs and bad spirits. arrghhh. i need to accept that they are from the old school way of thinking where outdoor equals sickness and activity equals overfatigue.
now, when my grandfather goes to benny to talk to him and say hi, i feel my blood boil, like i want to tell him to never look at us again. i am scared coz i feel like i am beginning to have the same anger that my mum had for her parents..that deep rooted resentment for them, blaming them for i dont know what.
that's why i want to leave. for as long as i live with them, they will always think they have authority over me and now benny. they will always have a say. i like being here coz i have my sister with me, help that i need (food, laundry, driver), the net to keep me sane, and the village atmosphere for benny's wellbeing. but the trade off is shit from my grandparents.
this has been brewing for a while and i'd like to believe that by writing, i am letting go of some steam. i do not want to hate. i do not want to be unhappy. i do not want to have resentments.
oh well...much has to be done, dee. one day at a time.
i am worried about all the hate i am currently feeling for my grandfather. he stormed into my room the other night and un-invited me to dinner so benny could stay home. he said
"no, you are not invited, my friend. Stay home with your son!" (i still need to learn how to make words bold here!)
i hate how he calls me 'his friend" coz we will never be anything close to that. and how he calls benny my son, and not by his name..as if to make things more authoritative.
ok ok. i know he has benny's wellbeing in his mind, but i hate how him and my grandma think that they know what's best for him. i guess all adults (does that disclude me?) think they know what to do, since they have had their own share of children and life in general. but the way they hover, with such authority is purely annoying. it makes me feel stupid as a mum, like i am selfish and make selfish decisions and do not care about benny's health, joy, and overall being! really stupid, they always think i purposely expose him to germs and bad spirits. arrghhh. i need to accept that they are from the old school way of thinking where outdoor equals sickness and activity equals overfatigue.
now, when my grandfather goes to benny to talk to him and say hi, i feel my blood boil, like i want to tell him to never look at us again. i am scared coz i feel like i am beginning to have the same anger that my mum had for her parents..that deep rooted resentment for them, blaming them for i dont know what.
that's why i want to leave. for as long as i live with them, they will always think they have authority over me and now benny. they will always have a say. i like being here coz i have my sister with me, help that i need (food, laundry, driver), the net to keep me sane, and the village atmosphere for benny's wellbeing. but the trade off is shit from my grandparents.
this has been brewing for a while and i'd like to believe that by writing, i am letting go of some steam. i do not want to hate. i do not want to be unhappy. i do not want to have resentments.
oh well...much has to be done, dee. one day at a time.
Wednesday, August 29, 2007
coming to terms
my little darling baby will be five months in a less than two weeks..how time flies.
a few days ago, i was again hit by the anxiety bug that made me stress about my life and how i feel like it is going nowhere. before, i was sinking in the pit alone..now, i have my son to worry about.
a friend pointed out that maybe i have not truly come to terms with the whole 'mommyhood' idea. yes, things have changed. priorities, everyday life, relationships, (my size!!), the way i feel about things. on a good day, i can experience these changes and take things in stride. on a bad day, (fridays mostly coz those are the days when i feel alone at home and resentful that my partner is out havin' a ball livin' the bachelor life!) things can really get to me...to the point that i want to fly away and start over.
i love my son..with all my heart. i want to give him the best..this of course means finding the best person for myself, who will love me and my son unconditionally, treat us right, take care of us and make the world a sunshiney place. whether or not that person has arrived is beyond me today. that is what stresses me out. the what if's sink in.
so i accept that the whole mum idea is still in transition within me. it doesn't mean that i love my son less..it doesn't make me a bad mum and does not deserve my guilt. simple fact is that i am going through changes that bring with them a bunch of wacky emotions to deal with..
here's to a happy and healthy life for me and my darling son benny. wherever the wind will bring us, there will always be sunshine:)
a few days ago, i was again hit by the anxiety bug that made me stress about my life and how i feel like it is going nowhere. before, i was sinking in the pit alone..now, i have my son to worry about.
a friend pointed out that maybe i have not truly come to terms with the whole 'mommyhood' idea. yes, things have changed. priorities, everyday life, relationships, (my size!!), the way i feel about things. on a good day, i can experience these changes and take things in stride. on a bad day, (fridays mostly coz those are the days when i feel alone at home and resentful that my partner is out havin' a ball livin' the bachelor life!) things can really get to me...to the point that i want to fly away and start over.
i love my son..with all my heart. i want to give him the best..this of course means finding the best person for myself, who will love me and my son unconditionally, treat us right, take care of us and make the world a sunshiney place. whether or not that person has arrived is beyond me today. that is what stresses me out. the what if's sink in.
so i accept that the whole mum idea is still in transition within me. it doesn't mean that i love my son less..it doesn't make me a bad mum and does not deserve my guilt. simple fact is that i am going through changes that bring with them a bunch of wacky emotions to deal with..
here's to a happy and healthy life for me and my darling son benny. wherever the wind will bring us, there will always be sunshine:)
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